We all want a magickal life - one where you manifest your heart’s desires, things just work out for you, and life is graceful and easy. But how can you let the magick in when the past is still haunting you? You might be tempted to wish you had a different childhood, but don’t. Your challenged childhood is precisely the reason you will find your magickal existence and it is the path through it that will give you power beyond your imagination.
So your childhood wasn’t perfect, it doesn’t mean it should run your life, right? And yet, despite all your efforts, going to therapy, reading books, taking workshops, the negative tapes still take up a large portion of your mental space, the anxiety is ongoing, and you just can’t seem to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop - no matter how good things might be. So you’ve given up on the traditional route and are seeking out a solution in the spiritual world. Well done! You’ve found it.
The challenges you have faced in your life grew your inner container - your ability to hold, to endure, to survive - they strengthened you in ways nothing else could. But they also damaged your sense of self and your perspective, which is why you don’t feel so powerful or see any way in which you could be. But you can. And I’m going to show you how.
We’re going to take a journey together. We’re going to define the problem and lay out a solution for you. Part of the problem you’ve had is being able to define why you’re not happy and figure out what to work on. I promise you, by the end of this book, you’ll have that - and a path forward.
Not only will your challenged childhood not keep you from your magickal existence, I’ll show you how it is actually the doorway to it.
Thought Alchemist and Transformational Shaman
About the instructor
In 1998 I took stock of my life. I had a big house, a successful business, a handsome husband, and I was a pillar of my community as the President of a non-profit - and I was miserable. I had burned out on my business years before and had been running on fumes ever since. My husband and I were locked in a power struggle from which we would never recover - despite still loving one another. I hated that big house and had never actually wanted it (reference the power struggle with the husband). And I was hiding all of this from myself by volunteering for 40 hours a week turning around a troubled non-profit with massive problems and lots of drama that allowed me to distract me from my own unhappiness.
I had been a good girl my whole life. I had gotten good grades, always been the mature one, looked out for others. I had done the checklist that was meant to guarantee the American Dream. I had gone to college, gotten married, had the two cars, the big house, and the dog. WHY WASN'T I HAPPY?!!?
I didn't have an answer to that question then, but I was clear that what I was doing wasn't working. So I dumped my life. I divorced my husband, sold the big house, sold the business, resigned from the non-profit, and moved out of state for a fresh start. I moved into a house with 5 other spiritual seekers all on their own path of enlightenment and together, we spent the next 4 years doing a deep dive into our issues, healing our past and supporting each other along the way.
When the time there was done, the universe sent me on walkabout (where you walk into the world until you find yourself). I gave away everything I owned except my car, my camping gear, my clothes, and a few personal items - only what would fit in a Honda Civic. I spent the next year homeless, living on the road on $350/mo. of unemployment insurance and the kindness of strangers. (Read more of that story here: http://www.kellesparta.com/category/you-want-me-to-do-what-an-intimate-view-into-a-modern-day-shamans-initiation/
Once the journey was complete, I still wasn't done with my work. I had found out a lot about myself, but I still had this inner layer of stress that just wouldn't let go of me. I spent the next 7 years attending as many workshops as I could, voraciously reading books, watching spiritual movies, etc. Anything I could get my hands on to make me feel better.
I was frustrated that after what was then 30+ years in the personal growth world, happiness could still be so elusive. But I soldiered on in my quest and eventually things started to shift. The hard-core focus on me began to yield fruit. And slowly, ever so slowly, the veil of inner stress began to lift.
Ultimately, it took me 12 years to break through the wall of stress I had built around me and within me. The constant sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop; the feeling that no matter how hard I worked or how much I did, it was never enough; the well of rage that lived and grew inside of me on a daily basis because no one seemed to notice how much they were hurting me, the need to be right, to be perfect, to always be in control - these were the things that haunted me for years.
But at the end of that 12 year process, I had broken through the wall. I had dramatically reduced my inner stress levels. I had drained the well of rage and no longer feared losing control and laying waste to whomever was unlucky enough to be in front of me when I did. I was calm. Damn - I was PEACEFUL! (Truth be told, I had no idea what that word meant before I started the journey. I honestly thought it was some bullshit that spiritual people made up.)
I've got an engineer brain, I like to know how things and people work. So I reverse engineered my process and figured out what the elements were that worked, what didn't, and why. And now, almost 20 years after my awakening to a life that was suppposed to be perfect and SO wasn't, I have codified the process and am ready to share it with the world.
I have taken what was for me a 20 year process of shooting in the dark and hoping I'd find the right path, and brought it down to a focused, highly targeted path to immediate and ongoing happiness. And I'm ready to share it with you. This is my master work - the culmination of my life's work. I hope it revolutionizes your world in the same way it did mine. It will if you let it. Schedule a Breakthrough Session with me to discover how.